I Am
by Secret Girlfriend
Summary: The new boy charming and handsome yes, but Rachel Berry is very afraid of him. She can't let her friends know that though.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay I'm going to start this chapter story against my better judgement. They'll come fast at first then I'll probably appear to drop off the face of the earth :) and when I say Toby in this, I'm picturing the Toby from Pretty Little Liars because, I think he's sexy :D haha enjoy and review!**

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><p>Rachel got out of her car and headed into the dance studio. It was fall. Everything was fresh, including her. After a pleasant two months together Finn had broken up with Rachel. Why, she didn't know. But unlike the last few breakups, she wasn't holding on to him. She didn't want to. She'd been there before and it was horrible. Plus there was the whole <em>the last few breakups <em>thing. After he'd broken up with her sometime in July she'd thrown herself into her dance and was feelings better than ever.

Dancing was her new release. Singing was still more important as was acting but dance was becoming more of a passion rather than her final ticket to Broadway. The release of her energy and emotion was freeing.

Plus it was bringing her closer to Mike and Brittany. They'd never really paid attention to each other during glee or school or even dance classes when there were less than twenty people in a room they barely knew. But after they had watched her improve leaps and bounds right before their eyes they'd asked her what had happened. When she told them about her and Finn they'd applauded her recovery through dance. After that they didn't really know what had happened. They just started talking more and then started hanging out together.

When Rachel walked into her class that Monday night at the beginning of October and saw them talking to someone new she was taken aback. This tall fair skinned boy hadn't been there last week. Coming up to her friends she smiled. "Hey guys."

"And here she is now," Mike said throwing an arm around his little sister. "Rachel, this is Toby. He's new tonight."

"I figured. I think I would've remembered him." Rachel blushed slightly when Brittany raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything else. Mike rolled his eyes. Toby seemed to have missed this though and held out his hand.

"So this is Rachel Berry." His voice was soft, but it had confidence. "I've heard a lot about you."

Shaking his offered hand she was confused. "How? I thought you were new tonight?"

"I moved to Ohio about a month ago. I just needed to find a decent dance studio before I signed up for a class."

"So you think you're good enough for us?"

He gave a small smirk. "I think the question is will you guys be good enough for me."

"We'll find out, won't we," Mike said interrupting their conversation.

Rachel jumped when he spoke. For a second it had seemed like it was only her and Toby in the room. But that wasn't good. No, that was bad. But his eyes were just so…

Rachel's thoughts were interrupted when Brittany tugged her away from the guys to stretch. But there was no need for the charade for Rachel. She had gotten to know Brittany well enough that she knew that Brittany knew what had just happened in her mind.

"You've known the new guy for five seconds and you two are already hitting on each other?" Brittany smirked at Rachel's blush. "You can't deny he's cute."

Rachel glanced over where Toby and Mike were still talking. Passing by Mike's constant Asianess, she took in Toby's tall muscular figure. His light brown hair that wasn't combed but was still perfectly in place. His fair skin. His eyes. His light blue, diamond like eyes.

She quickly looked away when Toby looked past Mike to her and Brittany. Looking back at Brittany she was still smirking. "Fine, he's freaking hot. Shut up." To Rachel's frustration she wouldn't stop smirking. "Look I'm not going there. Finn is still there in the back of my mind and I don't want to go through any of that shit again."

Just then their instructor Kacie walked in. Rachel was grateful for the end of her and Brittany's discussion. Honestly she didn't know what Brittany was talking about. She hadn't felt anything with Toby and even if she had been flirting she'd been doing that more since her last break up with Finn. So what?

At least, she hadn't felt anything except when she looked into his eyes. But his eyes were just to perfect to not feel something.

But unfortunately for her Toby was still the topic of discussion at the beginning of class. "Everyone listen up. We have a new dancer in our midst tonight. Up front Toby."

At her command Toby stepped forward. Rachel could see every girl's eyes greedily follow him. She rolled her eyes at Brittany but she was already staring at her, trying to figure out her reaction to everyone else's reaction. "What?"

"Nothing." She quickly looked back up front but Rachel could tell she was smiling.

"So Toby," Kacie was still talking, unaware of the effect Toby was having on the girls, "Would you mind showing us a little of what you can do?"

"I don't know," Toby said, staring at Rachel. "I'd rather not embarrass myself. It's been hinted that I might not be talented enough for your class."

Rachel smiled. "I never said that. I was only warning you that it might take some time to catch up."

"I think I can manage, but thank you for your concern." Rachel caught the sarcasm not only in his voice but the little smirk he had on his face. The smirk said, 'You have no idea how good I actually am.'

"Well, now that we know Toby and Rachel will eventually be having some rather angsty sex, let's get started," Kacie said, breaking the rather intense silence that followed. But Toby didn't look away from Rachel and she wasn't going to stop staring at him either. But she was completely aware of the envious glares she was getting from all the females in the room.

As it turned out though, Toby had no trouble learning the first half of the dance the class had been working on for almost a month. He was two rows up from her and unfortunately, she couldn't take his eyes off him. His form was tight and so was his body. The few times she caught herself staring she would quickly look up into the mirror in front of her. No. No no no no no. No boys.

The freaky thing was though that when she did finally tare her eyes away from Toby she would catch him staring back at her through the mirror.

At the end of class Rachel was getting her water bottle when she felt him behind her. Turning and seeing him she said, "You know most people would find this creepy. You just standing there, not saying anything but staring at me. But me, no. I don't find this awkward at all."

He gave a small smile. "Of course not. You're the fearless Rachel Berry, not afraid of any situation."

"And you're Toby…. something… the unknown."

"And I'm Logan Olives." A short blonde bounced in between them, blocking Rachel from Toby. "The fun and talented one. Welcome to Lima." Ignoring his slightly shocked face she reached forward and pulled him into a hug. "I'm so glad you chose to grace our studio with your talents and presence." Walking away she turned back, flipping her blonde hair and giving tiny wave with a beaming smile.

Rachel, still trying to process what had just happened felt her heart sink a little. Even if she was into Toby, which she wasn't, she would be falling for a Puck. Good looking, talented and a player.

"Who was that?" Toby said with a little laugh, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Rachel laughed and mimicked Logan's voice. "Logan Olives, the fun and talented one."

Toby laughed, but then continued. "I think we got off on the wrong foot." He put out his hand again. "I'm Toby Wess, the new guy from Minnesota who loves to dance."

Rachel took his hand for a second time that night. "I'm Rachel Berry, the seemingly fearless girl who sings, dances and acts."

"Seemingly?"

Rachel could hear the unasked question in his voice but let it go. "Well, I'll see you around Toby Wess."

"You most definitely will, Rachel Berry."

Walking out the front doors she heard someone's footsteps behind her. Expecting either Brittany or Mike she turned around and said, "I know what you're going to say and-"

She stopped mid-sentence though. Logan Olives was behind her, glaring. "Do you now? Did you know I was going to tell you I think you're a slut and should stay away from Toby? By the look on your face you didn't know that, so I'll say it again. Stay away from Toby. He's mine."

Rachel rolled her eyes. Did everyone think she was into Toby? "Listen up shorter midget." This was one thing Rachel knew she had over Logan. As short she was, she had a couple inches over this annoying little demon. "I'm not into Toby. I'm not the slut hanging all over him. But you can have him. He's all yours. Now scram."

She was still glaring but Logan turned away and headed towards her car. Giving a big sigh she started walking again. She hated dealing with people like that. People who thought they were entitled to everything and thought they could get what they wanted with just a snap of their fingers.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder and thinking Logan was back to say something else she snapped, "I thought I told you to go away!" Turning she saw a startled Mike and Brittany. "Oh, sorry guys. I thought Logan was back to yell at me for already stealing 'her' Toby."

Brittany looked confused. "You stole him? I didn't know they were already dating. And besides you didn't steal him. It's more like he's cheating on her."

Rachel sighed, knowing Brittany had missed the point. "Who is he cheating on her with?"

She gave a small laugh and looked at Rachel like _she _was missing the point. "With you silly."

Mike shook his head. "Not what she meant Brit." He glanced at Rachel. "She already attacked you though? That tiny little junior? I kept seeing her eyeing him up all night."

"Not surprising. She's a fucking whore," Brittany said with an eye roll. "She's also desperate. It couldn't have been more obvious that you two were into each other."

"I'm not into him!" Rachel nearly screamed. "She can have him! Anyone could have him! He's not my type."

Mike jumped in. "Not your type? Oh yeah, I forgot. You're not into athletic, talented and good looking guys."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm just making it clear that I don't want him. I don't want anyone right now. I'm happy being single." Rachel thought about it though. She did want to try one date with him. But she wasn't going to let that happen. She wasn't going to let a guy control her again. "I'll just have to avoid him from now on."

"Well, that might be kind of hard," Brittany said apologetically. "He asked me for your number. I gave it to him."

"Brittany!" Rachel and Mike yelled together.

"What? I think you guys would be cute."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I love you to death Brit and you know I would never lie to you. So listen to this carefully. Me and Toby are not going to happen."

"We'll see. We'll see."

Rachel glanced at her older brother and teased, "So you think he's good looking?"

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><p>At home Rachel plopped onto her bed. Tonight had been exhausting. The entire drive home Brittany had kept saying she should give Toby a shot. Rachel wanted Mike's opinion but he wasn't speaking. He knew better than to disagree with Rachel.<p>

The sad thing was that Rachel knew Brit was right. She just couldn't tell her best friends she was afraid. Afraid of getting hurt again. But there was something in his eyes. Those two perfect diamonds.

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Taking it out she saw an unrecognized number. She had a feeling she knew who it was though.

**Hey. It's Toby Wess. Don't worry I'm not stalking you again. You're friend Brittany gave me your number.**

Rachel rolled her eyes. Stupid, stupid Brittany.

**So she told me. **

The reply was almost instant.

**So am I good enough for your prestigious little dance studio?**

**No comment **

**Is that a yes?**

**Goodnight Toby Wess.**

**Goodnight Rachel Berry, the seemingly fearless leader.**

Rachel tossed her phone away. She could already feel him getting under her skin. Under her skin and into her soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I bring up James in this. He is a character in one of my other stories and i liked him so much i decided to keep him :) but enjoy! review!**

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><p>The next day at school Rachel searched the halls for two people. She was trying to avoid Logan Olives because she didn't want to get another speech about 'stealing her Toby.' Toby Wess himself, was nowhere to be seen (which didn't matter anyway because she wasn't into him!).<p>

Mike noticed her wandering eyes all day and turned to her during glee while Mr. Schuester rambled on about something she wasn't paying attention to. "What is with you today? You didn't even flinch when Karofsky threw an empty slushy cup at you."

Rachel shook her head, as she was still thinking about what she had told Toby the other night. Why had she said _seemingly? _He wouldn't have known any better if she'd just acted like her usual confident self. Or would he? There was something in his eyes that said he could look past her facades, and that scared her more than anything.

"Rachel!" She jumped when Mr. Schuester called her up to sing some song they'd already done. She honestly had no idea why she had to do it and not Tina, but the lyrics weren't very helpful.

_You with the sad eyes  
>don't be discouraged<br>oh I realize  
>it's hard to take courage<br>in a world full of people  
>you can lose sight of it all<br>and the darkness inside you  
>can make you fell so small<em>

But I see your true colors  
>shining through<br>I see your true colors  
>and that's why I love you<br>so don't be afraid to let them show  
>your true colors<br>true colors are beautiful  
>like a rainbow<p>

Show me a smile then  
>don't be unhappy, can't remember<br>when I last saw you laughing  
>if this world makes you crazy<br>and you've taken all you can bear  
>you call me up<br>because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors  
>shining through<br>I see your true colors  
>and that's why I love you<br>so don't be afraid to let them show  
>your true colors<br>true colors are beautiful  
>like a rainbow<p>

That hadn't made things any easier for Rachel. Actually, it killed her.

"See, this is what I mean about covers," Mr. Schuester called from the piano bench. "Sometimes they can be better than the original, or they can be worse."

"Thanks Mr. Schue," Rachel said dryly. Why couldn't she get Toby out of her mind? Damn Toby Wess!

Sitting down she felt everyone's eyes on her. She wasn't there today. Her mind was stuck in her spot in the fifth row at dance class, looking forward two rows.

Someone else didn't seem to be paying attention either. The only other one who didn't seem to be paying attention to the lesson was Finn. Sitting in the back row with Quinn- they had gotten back together in September- he was staring ahead with an even more blank expression on his face than usual.

"Finn, your turn!"

"What?" His head snapped forward. "Sorry Mr. Schue. I'm not really in a singing mood today."

"That's fine," Mr. Schuester said not even looking at Finn's lost face. "Just pick a song someone's already done in glee."

"All right, fine…" Finn said with a sigh. "I'll do 'Never Goin Back.' You know, the one Artie did."

"Yes, we know, just come down front."

Finn's legs were shaking when he was up there. The guitar started and it looked like he was trying to sing, but it just wasn't working. After barely getting a line out of the first verse Finn just ran out. Nothing said, he was just gone.

Quinn called back over her shoulder as she chased after him, "He's fine! He just ate a bad taco."

Everyone sat in shock as silence settled into the room. Actually, Aiden, their guitarist, kept strumming 'Never Goin Back.'

"Aiden!" Rachel called from her seat, where thankfully the attention had been taken off of her.

"Oops, sorry guys." He put his guitar down.

"I think we're done today guys." Mr. Schuester got up and headed for the door. "Try to have your heads on your shoulders tomorrow." The door slammed behind him.

"Well, someone's in a mood today," James said from behind the drums.

"He's not the only one. What was up with the Inns?" Mercedes said curiously.

"Who cares," Puck said getting up. "We're done, let's get out of here."

Everyone seemed to finally realize this and got up to. Rachel though was still sitting. She hadn't really realized what had happened until Mike actually picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "Okay what is up with you today? You're normally the first one to comment on what the 'Inns' are doing."

"Put me down and I might tell you!" Rachel said a little peeved. Why did Mike have to be such a big brother?

"What if I just kept you like this until you talked?"

"You'd have to carry me home."

He finally set her down and laughed when he saw the frustrated look on her face. "Now what's up?"

"Seriously," James said while he was packing up his drum set. He and Aiden were the only other two in the room. They were the only two that ever really talked from the band, and even when they did, it was only ever Rachel was in the room.

Rachel had been close to the brothers since she'd moved to Lima when she was six. They were good neighbors.

"You guys can't tell Brittany this, got it? She might just make the situation worse. Plus, she'd laugh her ass off knowing that I was looking for Toby all day."

Aiden and James were confused as Rachel hadn't seen them last night. Mike on the other hand seemed to choke on a laugh. "You were looking for… Toby?"

When Rachel nodded her head he lost it and said through his laughter, "He doesn't even go here Rach! He goes to school in Fort Shawnee. He drives up for classes twice a week."

Still laughing Mike had to sit down. Aiden and James turned to Rachel expectantly. "Stop glaring at me. I was going to tell you guys about him… eventually."

"Yeah, like when you were going to tell us about Jesse during sophomore year?"

"That was a completely different situation," Rachel snapped. They were never going let her live that down. "I don't even like Toby."

"Yeah, not at all," Mike said sarcastically. "You just can't stop thinking about him and looking for him and at dance you just couldn't stop staring at him."

"He's a Puck though! I don't want a Puck!"

"No, you don't want a Puck," Mike said, "You want a Toby."

"I knew it!" someone shouted from the door. Someone with a high, perky voice.

"Logan, I told you I'm not into him! You two can go screw each other or do whatever the hell you want! I don't care!"

"Then why did Mike say you want Toby?" Logan stomped into the choir room. She looked so out of place in her cheerios uniform, but then again, she looked like a shorter version of Quinn last year.

"He's just joking Olives," James said to the short blonde. "Rachel really wants Puck."

Rachel shoved him hard, but went with it. "Yeah, I'm into Puck right now."

"Well that's fine. I've already had my fun with him. But I'm still watching you Berry. Stay away from Toby." She marched out of the room.

"Tell me again why you dated her last year," Rachel asked Aiden.

"Because I thought she was hot and she was convinced I played guitar for Coldplay."

"Not the brightest one is she?"

"Nope, and that's just how I like them, dumb and hot."

James rolled his eyes. "Logan's stupidity aside, why is she attacking you about Toby? How do you guys even know him if he's from Fort Shawnee?"

"He's in our dance class," Mike explained. "And he could have every girl wrapped around his finger if he wanted to." He glanced at Rachel. "Except little miss hard to get here."

"You got that right. Now let's go please, before it returns."

Wednesday Rachel felt much better. She'd ignored Toby's texts last night and had started choreographing her solo routine for dance. James had also come over to hang out.

"Why are you so freaked out by this guy anyway? If he's as bad as you keep saying, there should be no problem."

"The thing is I don't know if he's that bad. I just keep making stuff up so I'll stop thinking about him."

"But by making stuff up, you're thinking about him." Rachel smiled at this logic. Out of Aiden and James, she definitely got along better with James. He could make her smile even when her mind was a mess like it was now. Plus he also listened. Aiden was more like Puck in the fact that he thought more with his body than his brain.

"I don't know why I'm so afraid of him," Rachel finally admitted. "I just feel like he can see through me, past my walls of confidence. You know, like you do." James was the only she could talk to about her fears of getting hurt again or how it did bother her when Karofsky threw empty cups at her.

"But you're not afraid of me." This was a valid point.

"You've never tried hitting on me though. Plus, your eyes don't search me like his. You can tell when I'm upset but it's like he's looking past my eyes and into my soul."

"Wow, that's kind of creepy."

"I know it is! That's why I can't be around him anymore. I can't let him close enough to hurt me."

"And this is why you're freaked out by him?"

Rachel sighed. "Unfortunately, yes."

But that was all in the past, because her cover of Santana's 'Valerie' had gone amazing at glee and she was ready for another night of dance. Her mood was completely ruined when she stepped into the studio though.

The first person she saw was Logan, who could just piss her off just by her presence. But the person she was talking to pissed her off at the mere thought of him.

When Toby looked over Logan's head though, he cracked a smile that sent shivers down her spine. She almost let herself get lost in his eyes again but forced herself to look for Brittany or Mike. Before she could find either of them though Toby was by her side. "Rachel Berry, we meet again."

"Yeah, almost like you're stalking me." Rachel forced herself to look anywhere but at him. She spotted Brittany and started towards her. Unfortunately Toby followed.

"So what were you up to last night?"

"What?" Rachel finally met his gaze at the weird question.

"Well, it must've been pretty important if you couldn't even check your phone. I mean, it's not like you were actually ignoring me."

"Someone's very confident in themselves." Rachel rolled her eyes at his cockiness. So at least she had been right about that.

"Someone acts like they're very confident." Toby finally stepped in front of her, blocking her way to Brittany. "Seriously, what is up with you Rachel? Monday night you were all over me and now you're giving me the cold shoulder."

"_I_ was all over _you?" _Rachel asked incredulously. "Who's the one who asked my best friend for my phone number? Who's the one who actually texted me?"

They were both glaring at each other now. "Well I'm so sorry that I misread the constant staring and the fact that Brittany _told_ me you were into me!"

Rachel was almost shouting. "I'm not into you! I keep telling everyone that! You're too conceited for me to be into you!"

"Or are you just afraid?" Toby said, his voice now a whisper. Rachel's heart stopped. Had he actually looked into her soul? "Are you, Rachel Berry, the seemingly fearless leader afraid of Toby Wess, the boy from Minnesota?"

Rachel didn't say anything but she was sure her eyes said it all.

"Why? Why should Rachel Berry be afraid of the new boy?"

"Hey guys!" Brittany bounded up to them. "How's it going?"

"Fine!" they both screamed in each other's face. Rachel turned and dragged Brittany with her.

"Rachel what's going on? Did you two have a fight?" She gave a big asp and clapped her hands to her mouth. "Did you guys break up?"

Shaking her friend's shoulders Rachel did shout this time, "We were never together!" Rachel could feel all eyes on her, especially Toby's. It was like they were burning through the back of her head, right through to her inner thoughts.

Thankfully Kacie walked in then and told them all to order up to work on the second half of the dance. Rachel made sure she was in the same row as Toby, on the opposite end. She couldn't stand the thought of him right now. She pushed all thoughts out of her head and put all energy into the music as they reviewed they first half. But class ended too quickly. Too soon there was silence and too much free space in her head.

And too soon Toby was back. As he chased her out into the parking lot he called after her, "Rachel come on and just hear me out. I don't know what the hell just happened but we need to talk."

"What do we need to talk about?" Rachel whipped around and faced him. "What's left? I think you're conceited and you think I'm afraid of you." She glanced back at Mike and Brittany who were standing in the entrance to the studio. She lowered her voice so they couldn't hear. "Well good job you were right. I'm afraid of you because it feels like you can see strait through me, through all my fake confidence and smiles. I'm afraid because I could easily fall for your freaking perfect eyes and then get hurt like every other guy before you. So do me a favor and just drop this. Don't bother trying to text me tonight because I will ignore it. Don't come up to me during class because I will try to avoid you. Just leave me alone."

She didn't even glance at Mike and Brittany before she turned to her car. Zooming out of the parking lot she felt the tears behind her eyes, just begging to escape. _You just have to wait a little longer. Just make it to your driveway Rachel._

She barely made it. She couldn't even get out of her car before the tears started rolling. She didn't know how long she sat there. It felt like ages and the tears just kept coming. After a while she heard her passenger door open and felt James slide in next to her.

"Do you want to talk or do you just need a hug?"

"Hug please," Rachel said through her sobs. James slipped his arms around her. He didn't say anything. Not 'It's all going to be okay,' or 'It'll all get better.' He just held her, and that was all Rachel needed right now.


	3. Chapter 3

**I know! It's late! But get used to it because I only have two more chapters written and as soon as those are up you probably won't see for a while. So enjoy! Review!**

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><p>Eventually Rachel made her way through her front door and climbed tiredly up the stairs. After working her ass off at class and sobbing hysterically into James, she felt drained, like there was nothing left in her.<p>

Spilling the contents of her gym bag onto her bed she started putting everything away. She avoided the blinking light in the pile that she knew was her phone. When she couldn't find anything else in her room to straighten up or put away, she grabbed her phone. Five texts. Three missed calls.

Two of the three calls were from Mike, the other from Brittany. She at least owed them an explanation. But she could talk to them tomorrow. They had probably texted her anyway.

**Mike: meet tomorrow morning on roof**

**Brittany: meet tomorrow morning on roof**

She knew what that meant. They only ever met on the roof of the high school if there was a serious problem. Apparently she was the problem right now.

**James: you've been in your driveway for twenty minutes. I'm coming over.**

**James: hope you feel better b. he's not worth whatever that was.**

Rachel smiled. No matter what she knew James would always have her back. She was afraid to read the last text though.

**Toby: I know you said not to text you but you can't ignore me forever. So im just going to keep texting you until you finally respond. We need to talk.**

As if on cue her phone beeped, showing the message symbol.

**Toby: I'm not lying. Every ten minutes until I see you next Monday.**

Smiling to herself Rachel admired his determination, but knew better than to fall into this trap. A beep every ten minutes? She'd lived through much worse.

Texting Mike and Brittany back that she would be there at seven, she turned off her phone. She could at least get some peace before tomorrow morning.

Apparently not though.

Suddenly there was a knock on her bedroom door. Her dad poked his head in. "Rach, I brought someone up for you." Stepping aside he revealed Finn, who hadn't really been hiding anyway because he was about a foot taller than her dad.

"Finn? What are you doing here?"

Her dad left and Finn stepped in. He looked out of place in her room now. It had been to long since he had been there. Looking closer Rachel saw his eyes were red. "Finn, what's wrong?"

Ignoring her question and her eyes Finn took a seat at her desk chair. "Hey Rach. How's it going?"

"Just fine, how are you?" Why was he being, for lack of a better word, weird?

"I'm good. You know, glee stuff, school work…"

"School work Finn? Really?"

He finally looked up at her, giving her a small smile. "Yeah, not my best lie."

"Well, what else have you been lying about?"

"It's more like what have I haven't been telling you. I never gave you a reason for why I broke up with you, and I figured you kind of deserved one."

"Yes, that would be nice." Actually, Rachel hadn't thought about it much, especially not in the past few days. Damn Toby Wess!

"Yeah, it would be. I guess I just didn't want to have a committed relationship."

"That's another really lame lie Finn. I mean really, you were with Quinn for almost a year the first time, you were with me for half a year at one time. What really happened?"

He laughed. "You know me to well Rachel. I hope things stay that way."

"You hope?" Rachel was past the point of confusion. She thought he would just tell her that he had wanted Quinn back again, and she would've been fine with that. What was he hiding?

"Things are changing again. I wanted to be with Quinn when I broke up with you and we got together. We were actually together all of August, we just didn't want to be out right away."

"Finn, you could've just told me that. I kind of thought that was what happened."

"But that's not all." Finn's voice was quiet, low. Rachel had to actually lean in to hear him. "Last month we got together over the weekend while her mom was out of town. She just told me the other day that she missed her period last week."

Rachel's heart stopped, this time in horror. Not again. "Do you guys know for sure yet?"

"That's why we're here…"

"We're?"

That's when Quinn stepped through her bedroom door. "Hey Rachel." She gave a small sniff. "We need you right now."

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><p><em>Why me? <em>That's all Rachel could think as she leaned against her bathroom wall opposite of Quinn. It was awkward to say the least. Standing across from your ex's girlfriend who could possibly be pregnant can be that way.

"Look, I'm really sorry we dragged you into this. I just can't tell my mom yet and you're the only one that Finn trusts enough and-"

"Quinn, stop and breath." Rachel actually heard the intake of her breath and waited until she let air back out. "It's okay. Frankly I wouldn't trust anyone else in glee club either."

Quinn managed a small smile but her face fell again when she looked down at the pregnancy test in her hand. "Damn! How long does this take?"

"You only peed a couple minutes ago. Give it a little bit." Her phone beeped for the second time since they'd done her test. She'd unwillingly turned it on to tell James not to come over that night and that she was fine. He hadn't replied yet but someone else was obviously trying to talk to her.

"Well, someone's mighty popular tonight," Quinn commented as Rachel rolled her eyes at Toby's latest text. _How can you stand this?_ The five that had come before that had all been about the same. _Come oooooon Rachel Berry _and _You know you want to text me back._

"Honestly I wish I wasn't." Rachel sighed. "They're all from the same annoyingly hot person."

"Hot? How can that be bad?"

"Focus on the stick in your hand Fabray."

"I don't want to. I'd rather talk about anything else, even your boy problems are more enjoyable. So why is this annoyingly hot person bugging you?"

"I'm guessing because I'm the only girl he's ever met that won't play his stupid little games." Rachel rolled her eyes. This night couldn't get any weirder. She was in a bathroom waiting to find out if her, for want of a better word, enemy, was pregnant and she was telling her about freaking Toby Wess.

She needed to go to a new school.

There was a knock on the door. "Can I come in now?"

"Come in Finn," Quinn sighed. The bathroom was crammed with the three of them in there now. Rachel really didn't want to be in there in the first place. She was afraid to see what would happen if the results ended up positive.

Her phone beeped again. She actually let out a growl at her phone and flipped it open angrily.

**Toby: Rachel Beeeery, the seemingly fearless leeeader. Talk to Tooooby.**

Rachel almost responded this time, if not just to send him an endless stream of curse words to let out her anger. She had a feeling she would've if Quinn hadn't let out a gasp. "No. No! No! No!"

Snapping her head up Rachel watched Quinn's pale face turn red as she started sobbing into Finn's shirt. Finn's had gone pale as he held her. Rachel thought this was a good time to let herself out. Backing away slowly she shut the bathroom door. Sinking down to the floor on the other side she hung her head down.

Again. Why was this happening again? Couldn't Quinn learn? Didn't she remember the hell hole she was thrust into two years ago? And why did she have to be dragged into it? This wasn't even any of her business?

Just as quickly as her anger had flared it died. Even when her phoned beeped in another text she couldn't get mad. One of her best friend's was on the other side of the door trying to comfort an already emotional girl.

Flipping open her phone she finally texted Toby back, but it wasn't mean or surrendering, just a request.

**Could you please stop? Just until tomorrow? Right now I need to be with my friends. But I guarantee that tomorrow you can bug the crap out of me to your heart's content.**

She wasn't surprised when the response was almost instantaneous.

**Sorry. Hope your friends are okay. Is there any chance you'll respond tomorrow?**

Rachel shook her head and decided to let her silence be its own answer. Getting up she pressed her ear against the door. It sounded like Quinn's sobs were at least quieter so she pushed open the door and poked her head in, the two teens still on the floor. Quinn's eyes were shut but the tears were still escaping from behind her lids. It looked like Finn hadn't moved at all.

"Do you guys need to spend the night?"

Looking up Finn just blinked a few times confusedly. Quinn sat up though and looked at Rachel with such intensity Rachel almost ran out the door again. "You would do that for us?"

Rachel almost hesitated, but she couldn't. As much as she envied Quinn, she found it impossible to right now. "Of course."

Quinn nodded and then slowly stood up from the floor. Wiping the traces of tears and messed up make up from her face she left. Finn was still sitting on the floor. Sliding down next to him Rachel put her head on his shoulder. She missed just being with him. Couple or not, they were still friends, no matter what.

"You know, this could be worse."

That seemed to get his attention, or at least triggered something in his system. "Yeah, how?"

"At least you know it's yours."

Whether that triggered bad memories or not, Finn smiled. "Thanks for helping us out Rachel. Quinn won't ever admit it but she's really grateful you were willing to wait with her. She couldn't do it alone."

"Why couldn't you wait with her?"

"She said it was too weird. I don't really get it but it was important to her."

Rachel nodded with him, but she understood. She had found over the years there was a difference between the comfort of a man and a woman. She loved her dads to death but when she started hanging out more with Mercedes and Brittany, they were a little more understanding when she went through a break up or was just being difficult during her time of the month. Yeah, this was a little different but it was still the same thing. Actually, it was more reversed when you thought about 'the time of the month' thing.

"Finn?" Quinn called quietly from the hall. Standing up Rachel held out her hand to help Finn off the floor. He stared at it for a second then took it. In that moment, Rachel knew she was stuck with them in this, whether she wanted to or not.

After Quinn and Finn called their parents, saying they were at Puck's and Santana's respectively Rachel led them to the hall with the guest rooms. "There's one on the left and the right. I don't care if you guys share a room, just don't try making a twin." There was no laughter. It must've been too early for jokes.

Finn went into the one on the right. He still hadn't said much since finding out. When the door snapped shut Quinn turned to Rachel. "Why are you doing this for us?"

She could hear an accusation in her voice, but she couldn't blame her. "I'm doing this because no matter how hard I try to deny it, you're my friend Quinn. Both you and Finn are."

She seemed to be wondering if she was lying or not. "No matter how much you mistrust me Quinn, you're going to need me now. Finn's a good guy but even he can only take so much of your mood swings, and that's when you weren't pregnant."

Somehow Quinn smiled, but then she turned to face the two doors. "Go with Finn. You may think this is scary for you, but he's just as scared as you right now."

"Thanks Berry… for everything tonight." And just like that she was gone.

Even more exhausted now than when she had gotten home, Rachel went back to her bedroom. Pulling her phone out of her pocket she checked a new text from James.

**Why not? And why is Finn's car in your driveway?**

Going to her window she opened it. Grabbing a small pebble from the planter sill outside she drew back her arm and threw it across the street at the second story window. From years of practice it hit right in the center.

About ten seconds after she heard the clack from her pebble, James came to his bedroom window. Poking his head out he saw Rachel nod to the street. He quickly nodded and snapped his window shut.

Racing down her stairs Rachel was quickly out the front door. Across the street James was already under the large tree in his front yard. This tree was like the roof for her Brit and Mike. Anything that couldn't be told over text was said here.

"What's so urgent Rach? We haven't had to use the tree for at least two months! This has to be a record!" James laughed but he could tell Rachel wasn't in the mood. "What's up?"

She couldn't think of an easy way to tell him so she just said it. "Quinn's pregnant again."

Even in the slowly quickening darkness Rachel could see his mouth fall open. "Really? Who's is it?"

"It's for sure Finn's."

"Oh Rach," James said sympathetically. He pulled her into a hug. "I'm really sorry kid. This must suck."

"Actually, it's not as bad as I thought it would be when Quinn first came into my room tonight." Rachel remembered thinking that she might slap Quinn when Finn had told her. But watching her break down the way she did and seeing Finn automatically at her side had given her some comfort oddly enough. It made her see that, however messed up the path was to get there, the Inns were here to stay this time.

"Well, I'm glad you're handling this." They just sat there for a little while, nothing had to be said anymore. But all the excitement had pushed dance out of Rachel's mind. James was still thinking about it though. "What happened in your car earlier?"

Rachel shuddered at the thought. "It's been a stressful evening for me." She explained what had happened before and after dance and then showed him the twenty texts she had gotten from Toby in the last few hours. Surprising Rachel, James laughed as he scrolled through the messages. "How is this funny?"

Still chuckling James told her, "Rach, this guy actually sounds like someone you need."

"What?" Rachel jumped out from under his arm. "How could you think that? He's so conceited and annoying and-"

"Not afraid to stand up to you? Yeah that sounds horrible." James was still laughing at Rachel's dramatics. "I mean come one Rachel! You need someone who can read you! This guy knows exactly how to push your buttons and is willing to pick a fight with you when you're being unreasonable!"

"Now I'm being unreasonable? Please explain?"

"Rach, you tagged him as a Puck after only knowing him for two hours. What has he done to prove that? Had girls eye him up and down and back up again? That's not his fault."

Realizing she had been pacing Rachel forced herself to stand still. "He still said I was hitting in him…" she said a little weaker than she had said everything else.

"Because that's what Brittany told him." Rachel slouched back down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. She was tired. Today had been exhausting. "Rachel, you can keep pushing this off but it's going to end up one way or another. You'll either be with him or forever be wondering what could've been."

"What if I said I'm not afraid of him, but Logan?"

"That would pushing it off."

"Fine, I'm just afraid."

"I know but you have to face that fear." She heard her phone beep, which James still had in his hands. He flipped it open and laughed. "Besides, this Toby guy isn't afraid of you at all."

Handing over her phone she read Toby's latest message.

**I know you're not going to respond and I know you'll probably kill me because you said no more texts tonight but I just wanted to say… good night.**


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel pulled up to school exhausted the next morning. Why did they have to meet before school? After texting Brittany to make sure she had coffee she'd left a note by Quinn and Finn's door telling them they could make plans to stay again that night if they had to. It was going to be a long nine months.

Climbing the backstage stairs in the auditorium Rachel pushed open the loose ceiling tile above catwalk and hoisted herself up onto the roof. It was only quarter to seven but she saw Mike and Brit already there waiting for her. Turning when they heard the slap of the tile on the concrete roof, both of them looked worried.

Rachel didn't say anything though until she'd taken her coffee from Brittany and had taken a few swallows. Looking over the edge of the building at the woods behind the school Rachel asked, "So what's the big emergency?"

"Rach, is everything okay?" The question alone would've been enough to send her over the edge, but the concern in Brittany's voice almost killed her. She held back though. Breaking down on top off the roof wouldn't end well for her. Hell, she couldn't even tell them half of her problems. It went unspoken last night that James was the one and only person besides her, Finn and Quinn that could know anything.

When she didn't respond Rachel felt Mike's arm snake around her waist. "Come on B, you need to let us in if you want us to help."

"That's the thing, I don't want you to help. I just need you to listen."

"Okay then, tell us. Tell us anything. But everyone can tell you're losing it Rachel. You can't bottle it in any longer."

Rachel finally settled on what she would tell them. It would be like Finn. She wasn't lying, she was just holding back. "I know you guys are right about me and Toby." Rachel had to pause for Brittany to squeal a little bit before she was silenced by a glare from Mike. "And I know eventually that I'm going to have to talk to him about last night, but I don't want you guys getting your hopes up. I don't want a boyfriend right now and I need you to respect that. No more giving out my number or telling guys I'm flirting with them. Just let me deal with everything."

"What was last night about anyway?" Brittany asked. "I know you guys aren't together, which Mike had to explain to me like, seven times, but it looked like you guys were in a break up fight. It looked really intense."

Rachel sighed. "Toby has the idea in his head that I'm only acting like I have all the confidence in the world, and that I don't enjoy being a leader. Then he also thinks that I've been hitting on him for the last three days." It wasn't a lie. He had those ideas in his head, and he was (partially) right. She just left that out. Now they could think what they wanted.

"What is he talking about? You not enjoying being a leader? Crazy!" Mike was actually laughing now. "But sis," he said in the most serious tone Mike could ever have, "you don't have to deal with everything on your own."

"I know bro," Rachel said, if anything just to end the conversation. He kissed the side of her forehead and let Brittany swoop her up into a hug.

"And just tell me if I need to stop talking! I mean, we all know I'm going to screw something like this up again and-"

"Brittany?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop talking."

"Okay." Rachel let her hug her again. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." It was only half a lie. They still didn't know the full story though.

Back down in the halls people had started showing up around 7:30. They lost Mike to Tina and Brittany eventually went to find Santana. Walking around Rachel finally found Quinn's locker. Finn was there to and they seemed to be debating back and forth. Coming closer she heard her name get thrown into the conversation and decided she'd rather end the discussion than avoid it. Stepping up she said as cheerily as she could, "Hey guys!"

"Berry," Quinn quickly turned on her, but looked happy to see her, "were you serious about that note you left this morning?"

"Yeah, you guys can stay as long as you want. My dads are fine with it. Why?"

But Quinn had already turned back to Finn. "See, why shouldn't we stay another night? At least until we can think of a way to tell our parents."

"Because I'm not afraid to tell my mom today! She was really cool about it last time, and if we tell your mom today and she kicks you out again you can just live with me and my family for a while."

Rachel knew before he had finished talking he had said the wrong thing. Bringing up the last pregnancy probably wasn't a good idea. She was right to because Quinn slammed her locker shut and stormed off.

Looking completely confused Finn slumped up against the locker. "What did I do this time?"

"Don't worry Finn. It's just some pregnancy hormones, she'll cool off. Just don't bring up sophomore year for a while." When he didn't move she shoved him off the lockers. "Go apologize!"

"Oh, right," and then he ran down the hall after her.

True to his word last night, Toby texted her at least four times each class period. His messages were becoming shorter though and Rachel had a feeling she would ware him out eventually. She gave it twenty-four hours.

That night though, the idea of responding became very welcoming.

Quinn and Finn were downstairs arguing about talking to their parents while Rachel did her homework. At first it had been distracting but she had gotten used to the noise. Personally, she was siding with Finn in this case because, as he had said, Quinn had put off telling her parents last time and it hadn't ended well. But, she did enjoy knowing there were two more people than usual in her giant house.

James was with her and had finally commented on the constant beeping coming from Rachel's phone. Toby had been texting her three times every half hour since three that afternoon and even Rachel was getting sick of the beeping. She couldn't bring herself to turn the phone off though. Why, she didn't know.

"Just text him back!" James finally yelled around eight. "It will only get worse as Monday gets closer and it's only Thursday! Please end it!" He clapped his hands over his ears dramatically and fell face first on top of her bed.

Laughing Rachel picked up her math book and hit him playfully on the head. "It will also get worse if I actually text him. Then he'll be responding every other minute. More beeping, more Toby."

"But at least we would be making progress."

"We? Since when have you become apart of this?"

"Since I was subjected to this torture." On cue her phone beeped again. Rachel had actually changed that to Toby's personal ringtone so she would know if someone other than him was messaging her.

"You know what, fine. If it's killing you this much." Rachel pushed herself of her bed, acting like it was an act of torture, but really, she had wanted to respond for the last few hours. She had been thinking about it all day and the idea of just talking to Toby had become more exciting. Yes, he might be like Puck, but that wasn't for sure. The mystery was… fun.

As she picked up her phone she looked at his last text.

**My little dancer… where are you?**

She smiled. The last ten texts had been like that, different nicknames for her- strawberry, princess, ballerina. She was about to tap out a response when fear crashed over her. She couldn't do this. No, it was a bad idea. What if he just hurt her more than Jesse or Finn had? What if she wasn't what he was expecting at all?

"I can't do it!" She actually threw the phone but James managed to catch it before it hit the wall.

"Yes, yes you can." He gently placed the phone back in her hand. "You want this, I know you do. For the last hour you've twitched every time it beeps. You think you're hiding from me but I know you Rach. You can do this."

She glanced down at her phone again. She could this. She could do this. She couldn't do it.

"You do it." She tossed her phone back to James. "You're better with words."

"Yeah, I'm just missing your SAT vocabulary but other than that…" James rolled his eyes but flipped open her phone anyway. Rachel waited while he read a few of the last texts then started typing.

He almost hit send before Rachel yelled, "Wait!"

"What?" James eyes snapped up at her urgency.

"What are you saying?"

He laughed but showed her the text. _I'm right here._

"Okay, proceed."

"Glad you approve," he said sarcastically. Pressing send he put the phone down between them, both of them staring with rapt attention at the inanimate object. Rachel's heart was pounding out of her chest. Why had she done this?

When her phone beeped a minute later- it had felt like a lifetime- James reached a hand out but Rachel swatted him away and snatched up the phone.

**Ahhh, there you are. You've been hiding from me little dancer**

It actually sent shivers down her spine. James had read the text over her shoulder and had hold back his laughter. Knowing he was laughing at the mere creepiness she punched him in the shoulder. She didn't care. She had done it… sort of.

Rachel was bouncing when she walked for the next few days. After the first text on Thursday she hadn't been able to control herself. Talking to Toby was no different than talking to James. Having already broken down her biggest wall with him made everything so open between them. And she couldn't deny it- she had flirted. Openly. But did she like him?

That part remained closed.

And oddly enough, the person she had been discussing this the most with was… Quinn. Yes James was like her other half in a non-creepy way but Quinn was a girl, a girl who was unbiased about Toby, unlike Brittany. When Rachel had told her that she felt like she was stringing Toby along Quinn had laughed. Apparently text flirting didn't mean as much because it was behind a screen.

She still felt bad, but that didn't stop her.

Finn had only slept over Wednesday and Thursday night. After that he felt bad for lying to his mom twice and went home. He was a sweet guy but, really? Quinn on the other hand didn't seem to want to go home. She had explained to Rachel on Friday night when she'd asked why she wanted to be alone… with her?

"My mom's been being weird lately," she had said with a heavy sigh. "I don't know why. One day she's trying to act like she's my best friend and then all of a sudden she's being totally distant with me. So my giant house is even more lonely then your giant house." Shrugging it off Quinn had gone on eating her current craving, pickles and pizza.

When Monday came Rachel was speeding to dance class. Checking herself in the mirror one last time she tried opening her door only to find it being blocked by someone's whose face she couldn't see. Quickly sliding over to the passenger side she got out and looked over her car. "You know, this is another sign that points to stalking. Waiting for me to get out of my just so you can creep me out a little more."

"That's not being a stalker," Toby said with a smirk. "It's called being annoying."

"Well, you're succeeding," Rachel said, but she smiled. Why did it feel like her stomach was flying?

In the studio, Kacie was there early pairing people off. "You two," she yelled at them, "up front. Last ones in, first ones to dance. We're working on improvising tonight. I'll play a random song and you two have to work off each other. Got it?"

Both nodding, they took center stage… well, floor. "Well Little Dancer." He had made that her official nickname, saying it had 'worked' on her. "We finally get our first dance."

"It seems that we do." She matched the smirk on his face, mainly because of the look Logan was giving her.

"Again, another sign of angsty sex, but anyway." Kacie scrolled through her I-pod. Apparently finding a song, her grin could not have been any wider. "Let's see what you can do with this song."

Hearing the opening beats, Rachel blushed furiously. She knew this song. She knew it from New Direction's 'sexy' unit. And it wasn't obnoxious like 'Do You Wanna Touch' had been.

_You don't have to be beautiful  
>to turn me on<br>I just need your body baby  
>From dusk till dawn<br>You don't need experience  
>To turn me out<br>You just leave it all up to me  
>I'm gonna show you what it's all about<em>

_You don't have to be rich  
>To be my girl<br>You don't have to be cool  
>To rule my world<br>Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with  
>I just want your extra time and your<br>Kiss_

_You got to not talk dirty, baby  
>If you wanna impress me<br>You can't be to flirty, mama  
>I know how to undress me (Yeah)<br>I want to be your fantasy  
>Maybe you could be mine<br>You just leave it all up to me  
>We could have a good time<em>

_You don't have to be rich  
>To be my girl<br>You don't have to be cool  
>To rule my world<br>Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with  
>I just want your extra time and your<br>Kiss_

It was intense, to say the least. No matter what moves she and Toby were doing (which were all flawless by the way) she couldn't look away from his eyes. When he spun her in their half tango half hip-hop dance she couldn't turn fast enough, just so she could get back to staring at him.

And even Rachel couldn't deny how fucking attractive he was or the fucking chemistry that was burning her insides. But it was just the song… right?

Apparently not, because when the song ended and Rachel and Toby finished their dance, their faces only centimeters apart, it felt like the air was crackling around them from the electricity. It took all Rachel had not to kiss his perfect, soft looking lips. He was so close…

"I repeat- angsty, freaking hot sex." Kacie's voice broke the spell around them and Rachel was suddenly aware of everyone staring, or glaring at them. Looking over Toby's shoulder she saw Logan (death glare), Brittany (wide grin), and Mike (hand over his eyes shaking his head).

Before anyone could comment on Kacie's thoughts, Rachel pushed Toby away from her and ran from the studio. She couldn't take the emotions inside her and couldn't let anyone see her break down. Couldn't let anyone see the tears that Rachel knew were coming.

She heard someone running after her though. She wished, dreaded, and knew it was Toby behind her. Crashing through the glass doors Rachel slid down the outside wall of the studio. Putting her head in her hands she let out a loud sob before the tears came rolling out of her eyes. She felt Toby slide down next to her and put an arm around her. It was comforting as well as scary. Why was she letting him this close to her? Why was she letting him get inside of her?

It didn't take long for her tears to die this time. I was only a couple minutes later when she finally looked up and saw Toby's diamond eyes staring into her big brown ones. She could've said so many things then but all she could manage was, "I'm sorry."

"Why on earth are you apologizing?" Toby rolled his eyes. "You just felt everything that I felt in there and I was almost crying," he paused adding the afterthought, "in a manly way. But you, you have too much bottled up to not lose it right now." He pulled her up on her feet. "What I want you tell me right now is, are we giving us a shot, or not?"

Rachel couldn't find the words to get out of her mouth but vigorously shook her head. Through Toby's shock he managed to say, "Rachel, use your words."

"I can't- I can't fall for you. I can't let someone like you… bury their way into me and then watch them hurt me. I'm so scared of that pain, and I can't let someone like you do that to me."

"Rachel, you don't know me." Toby grabbed her chin and pulled her face up to look at him. "Yes, we've been talking for four straight days, but that was behind a screen. None of that matters anymore and we start over here."

He let go of her and stuck out his hand. For the third time, Rachel took it.

"I am Toby Wess, a new dancer from Minnesota who really likes this girl and can't promise that there won't be fights and that he won't hurt her, but can guarantee that he doesn't want to do that to her, ever."

Rachel choked back more tears. He was saying things perfectly, honestly. More honesty that had ever been in her previous relationships, and she couldn't help but fall for that. "And I am Rachel Berry, the seemingly fearless leader who's afraid of being broken into pieces, but is willing to take the chance."

That was all Toby needed to lean down and kiss his little dancer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Yeah, I**** know I'm in trouble. I didn't mean to totally space on all this stuff but it was a hard second semester. But here it is! Finally!**

* * *

><p><em>What did I just do? What did I even say? Why did I<em>- Rachel turned her brain off and let Toby kiss her. Why should she fight this? Don't frown upon something if it makes you smile.

She didn't want him to pull away and when he did it showed on her face. Laughing at her pouty expression he said, "We should probably get back to class."

"I'd rather not," Rachel said thinking about the look Logan had been giving her earlier, a look that clearly said "I will hurt you." She'd rather face that later rather than sooner. Again, she's _seemingly_ fearless.

He appeared to be reading her mind though and said confidently, "You can face her."

"You think?" She was pleading, hoping he would give into her pout.

"Yeah, I do." He spun her so she would face toward the door and had to push the small of her back forward to make her move. She couldn't fight him when he was touching her.

Tentatively walking into the studio Rachel tried to run back out but Toby forced her into the room. Logan didn't even know what had happened in the parking lot and she looked furious. Trying not to focus on her Rachel blended into the surrounding students with Toby next to her and watched Mike and Brit's dance, which was amazing because Kacie had given them 'Valerie.'

When they had finished Brittany bounded over to join them, still smiling. Rolling her eyes at her friend Rachel answered her unasked question by taking hold of Toby's hand. She bounced up and down, clapping her hands as Mike came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders forcing her to stay on the ground but smiled at her and Toby. Rachel decided not to look at Logan.

After the ten groups had gone they still had a half hour left, but Kacie was feeling generous. "Get out of here. I have better things to do than have you review a dance you've mastered. Plus, I bet you have better things to do than dance, on a floor anyway." She eyed Toby's arm around Rachel's waist.

Letting her comment go Rachel took Toby's hand and dragged him outside, still trying to avoid Logan. She could handle her at school tomorrow, but her emotions had been up and down to many times tonight to handle it.

Logan was perfectly capable of handling it though because outside she was already leaning on Rachel's car. Trying to back away behind Toby he pushed her forward again. "Why can't you do it? She'll go with whatever you say!"

"Because that would be cheating, way too easy. I like a challenge."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Stepping forward Rachel felt braver with Toby still holding her hand. For such a short demon Logan seemed to be emanating so much… vengeance? Or was that just pure fury?

"So, I see you've forgotten the conversation we had the other day. Let me refresh your memory, Toby's mine!"

"And when did I agree to this?" Toby said incredulously.

"Ignore her. She's the delusional and insane one." Rachel imitated Logan's perky voice from the first night they'd met Toby.

Brittany and Mike had shown up by now and laughed. Toby was still contemplating Logan claiming him. "Seriously, when did we have this conversation?"

"At least I'm not the slutty one," Logan said bitterly. "First Puck, then Finn then Jesse then Finn again. You need to start playing in your league Berry."

"I'm the slut? You told me yourself that you've screwed Puck and I've seen you hit on Finn MORE than twice and Karofsky and Mike and my friend Aiden. When Jesse was at McKinley I had come up to you and rip your hands off his chest. If you're going to call anyone a slut, go look in a mirror and say it."

She tried to step around Logan. She should just drive away now, and if Logan didn't get off her car and she ran her over? That would just be a bonus to tonight.

Logan took a step closer to Rachel though. "You don't know what fight you just picked."

"I think I do, and it's with a baby dwarf. Easy to squash."

Logan huffed away, actually stomping her feet. Mike and Brittany were laughing and Toby had gathered her up in a hug. "See, that wasn't so bad. And to think, you were scared."

"Rachel Berry, scared? Funny. She can take anything. Not afraid of anyone or anything." Mike clapped her on the back. "I really wish I'd filmed that. It was awesome."

Brittany ran up and hugged the both of them. "I knew you two would be together. I'm like, psychic." She bounced away, still giggling.

Rachel didn't want Toby to let go of her though. As cool as she had acted, she had been afraid of getting hurt again. In the moment, she'd been afraid of physical pain, but now, now she was afraid that Logan might destroy what had only just started.

Feeling her shaking Toby kissed the top of her head. "It'll all be okay. She's too short to come between us."

Rachel wanted to believe him, she really did, but she wasn't sure.

Toby quickly made her forget about it though and kissed her again. Yeah, they'd be fine.

Bouncing into her house Rachel first spotted Quinn and Finn on her couch. "Hey Finn!" she called cheerily. "What are you doing here?"

"He's trying to tell me that I should go to my mom, tomorrow!" Quinn snapped the last word at Finn. "Are you crazy? Even I if wanted to tell her now I couldn't just go up to her tomorrow and say 'Hey mom! I'm pregnant again and this time it really is Finn's!' How well do you think that would go over?"

"Quinn, do you not remember last time? It didn't go over well then either after you waited so long!"

"That's because you told my parents by singing to them!"

Not wanting the shouting match to dampen her mood Rachel stepped in. "Listen Quinn, I think Finn's right. You don't need to tell her tomorrow," she quickly said to Quinn's raised eyebrows and opened mouth, "but sooner rather than later would be better. The dumbest mistake is doing the same thing twice."

"Oh, so now I'm dumb? Well, if that's how you both feel I'm going to bed!" Jumping up she stomped up stairs and Rachel heard the slam of the door.

Finn groaned. "This sucks… so much."

"Yeah, I know, but you should really go say good night. If she's past this mood swing she'll be grateful and if she's not, well, she'll remember in the morning."

"Okay," Finn sighed heavily. "Thanks for all you're doing for her by the way Rach. It means a lot to me. I can't have her at my place because I'm not telling my mom until she talks to hers. And, I think Quinn appreciate someone who can keep a secret."

"It's no problem." Finn got up and walked up stairs. After about ten seconds Rachel heard a loud "Get out!" She wasn't past her mood.

"Night Rach," Finn called angrily from the front door.

"Good night," she said weakly. Yeah, her good mood was ruined. She went up to her room and threw another pebble across the street. She saw James get up and nod. She raced down stairs, knowing her best friend would be happy for her.

"What is it now? Is Quinn having twins?"

Rachel laughed as she sat down. "No. She's just putting off telling her mom. But I needed to tell you something!" Her smile was back up on her face. "Toby and I-"

"Yes!" James jumped up and pumped a fist in the air. "I am so proud of you Rach! I knew you could get past all your fears!"

Rachel gave him a small smile and let him ramble on. She wasn't lying, just cutting out some of the story.

Even with her fear still intact Rachel managed to enjoy the honeymoon-ish phase of her relationship. Cute texts until one in the morning, flirting at dance on Wednesday and having their first date on Saturday, which was perfect. It wasn't anything serious or fancy. Just hanging out. And for Rachel's current feelings towards Toby, it suited them.

All the while whenever she saw Logan, with or without Toby, she turned in the opposite direction. No the midget couldn't do much to her other than glare and make the same insults people had been making since she was a freshman, but she still scared her. Something in the Cheerio's eyes screamed revenge.

But avoidance wasn't a big concern because everywhere she went now either Quinn or Finn was beside her. Sometimes she didn't care, but when one of them started ranting about telling their parents she had to put her foot down. "If you guys want to keep this a secret then don't be yelling about it down the hall!"

After about a week of this she finally forced the two struggling teens to sit down in her living room. Quinn was still sleeping there and Finn was there most nights before he went home. Most of the time Rachel had her door shut upstairs to block out their arguing, but tonight it ended.

"You two are going to drive me insane soon. You need to decide when you're finally going to tell people, including your parents, about this. Quinn, you're bordering two months. You can't hide forever, and once people figure it out, their minds will jump to Puck. Do you really want that?"

Finn turned to Quinn expectantly waiting for her answers. Her gaze flitted between Finn's eyes and Rachel's impatient expression. After about a minute she burst into tears. Finn jumped back surprised and Rachel rolled her eyes in exasperation. Okay, maybe she had been a little harsh but she was right. This couldn't go on forever.

Recovering Finn moved back to Quinn, rubbing her back. Eventually she calmed down a little and looked up. "Look, I know you're right Rach but I just can't. I can't do this again! I don't want to look my mom in the face and say I did it again."

"But at least this time you won't be lying to her about the dad, and you and Finn will be on the same page this time." She glared at Finn. "That means no singing."

Glad to see Finn's eyes dart away in shame Rachel took a seat on the other side of Quinn. "You don't need to let the school know yet, but your parents deserve to know."

Quinn gave one last sob and looked up at Rachel. "We'll do it this weekend, I promise, as long as you come with us to my mom's."

Rachel's shoulders slumped a little. "If it means no more arguing between you two, fine."

Quinn turned to Finn and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Are you ready for this?"

"I have been for a while," Finn said with a small smile. Rachel took this as her cue to go back upstairs. That was half the problem solved. In her room she picked up a rock and with her practiced arm threw it across the street. She didn't wait for James to look out and just went out to their tree.

When James came out he looked at her patiently expecting some big news. When she couldn't say anything he just opened his arms and she fell into them easily. She let out a sob of frustration at her two friends in her house and a groan of relief when she realized that sooner or later it would all be over, like Saturday when Quinn could go back to her house.

Sinking to the ground Rachel put her head in her hands. She let James keep his arm around her as she let out all the stress she was under. She felt like she was hiding too many secrets lately, but she knew she wasn't going to let them slip out, not yet.

For the first time in her life she was keeping a secret from James, which he reminded her of when he brought up Toby. "You can get through this. Just look how well you did with Toby."

She didn't respond. There was still fear in the pit of her stomach. Why, she didn't know. It was just who she was.

Saturday finally came and Rachel couldn't wait for the day to be over. She really didn't want to deal with telling Quinn's mom and wished she could manage with just Finn, but Quinn was insistent.

Well, the day wasn't going to be entirely horrible. Early in the day she met Toby at the park. He was the calm she needed right now, someone who didn't even know Quinn and Finn and could see past some of her walls.

As they sat under a tree together, Rachel couldn't help feel safe with him. Each time she saw him her fear ebbed away more. But she still wasn't whole.

"What are you thinking about?" Toby asked after she had been silent for a while.

She looked up at him, into his perfect eyes. The eyes that looked past her own, the eyes she sometimes dreamed about. "I'm thinking about how hard I expected this to be for me, and then how easy you made it."

When he didn't respond she asked him the same thing. "What are you thinking about?"

He chuckled. "I'm thinking about the amazing girl I'm currently holding in my arms."

She looked up, making sure he wasn't smirking when he said that, and kissed him.

Quinn was freaking out and they hadn't even left yet. "Would you hurry up Quinn? The sooner we get this done the sooner you can start worrying about the school!"

Okay, not the best choice of words but it was true. If Quinn couldn't handle this how could she tell the glee club?

Quinn raced down the stairs and out the door, not even glancing at Rachel and Finn. "Again, how are you managing to live with her?" Finn asked.

"You get used to it after a few weeks." Rachel rolled her eyes. "Again, why did you even let this happen?"

"You think I wanted it to happen?"

"Well it's your job to calm her down, so go calm her down!" They followed Quinn out the door and found her waiting in Finn's truck. The ride to Quinn's was silent for the most part except when Rachel asked again if Quinn should've called.

Quinn gave her the same answer she'd been giving her all week. "No, I don't want her to guess anything before I get home. No prejudgments, just her natural reaction."

Rachel dropped the subject and let the car fall into silence. To be honest she was nervous. She had never met Quinn's mom before. But Finn was still alive after the first time this happened….

Quinn almost knocked on the front door before she seemed to realize it was her house. "Mom," she tentatively called into the house. Rachel didn't hear a response so Quinn called again, "Mom!"

They all heard slow footsteps coming from above and Quinn's mom appeared at the top of the steps in a silk robe. "Quinn sweetie! I was beginning to get worried!"

"Beginning?" A perplexed look covered Quinn's face as her mom raced down the stairs to hug her. "I've been gone almost three weeks and you were just starting to get worried?"

Quinn's mom pulled away. "Well, I assumed you were just staying with your friend or at Finn's. I thought if there was any really trouble you would've called or something. I trust you Quinnie."

Quinn's face fell a little. "You really shouldn't trust me."

"And why not?"

Rachel tried to sink into the background now and forced Finn to step forward. "Um, well you see Miss Fabray-"

"Tammy!" a voice called from somewhere upstairs, and it was male. Quickly looking up the three teens saw a man in his boxers come down the hall. If Rachel could've run out without being seen she would've, but that wasn't an option right now.

The man halted at the top of the stairs seeing the confused look on Quinn's face and Miss Fabray's warning look. "I think I'll, I'll just go back to the bedroom," the man stumbled in his speech as he stumbled backwards out of view. If he had meant to make the situation less awkward, he had failed, epically.

Quinn's face turned from of confusion to fury. "Mom, if you could explain this before I explode that would be great."

"Oh Quinnie, he's such a nice man," Miss Fabray nearly begged. "I met him over the summer while you were away in July and I think you would really like him and-"

"July?" Quinn shrieked. "And here I felt guilty for not telling you I was pregnant for almost two months when you've been having sex with some random guy since July! God mom, and here I thought I could come home now but no! Apparently neither of us trust each other."

"Quinnie, you're pregnant again?" Miss Fabray's voice broke a little.

"Wait, you're not coming home?" Rachel said quietly from her corner of the group.

"Of course not! I'm not coming home if I have to deal with some guy my mom hid from me!"

"I'm an adult! I can hide these things from you. You're my daughter Quinn! I can't believe you didn't tell me for so long again!"

"You're lucky you even know. I only came because Rachel and Finn made me come today!"

"Please don't drag me into this," Rachel moaned, shutting her eyes, trying to tune out this madness.

"Oh you're in this Rachel." Quinn gave one last terrifying look at her mother. "Let's go home." And then she stormed out of the house.


End file.
